Chen Ya Xuan, 12
About YAXUAN
Ya Xuan and her grandmother Sit Ah Moi share a relationship in which bickering with each other is a part of daily life. Yet it is in their close observations and interactions with each other that unspoken care and knowledge is transmitted from one generation to the next.
Featured Caregiver:
Grandmother, Sit Ah Moi
Dish of Choice:
Png kueh (glutinous rice dumplings)
Have a listen to Ya Xuan's reflection in this journey of documenting her grandmother making Png kueh or read on in the transcript below.
Shiyun: If you could only choose one photograph to show to the public, which photograph would it be?
Ya Xuan: This. (see photograph below)
Shiyun: (laughs)... Why this photograph?
Ya Xuan: She’s smiling, or should I say laughing?
Shiyun: Actually she’s not smiling, don’t know what happened to her.
Ya Xuan: I think she’s laughing while talking to you. She laugh a lot ah… when she see TV, her friend call her.
Shiyun: So you feel that this laughing self, is her most natural self?
Ya Xuan: Yeah. She always laugh like that one.
Shiyun: What other expression is the… next most natural for Ah Ma?
Ya Xuan: (laughs) holding the cane, shouting “oi!”
Shiyun: She still cane you meh?
Ya Xuan: Sometimes lah. Not so often now.
Shiyun: One of the things that I remember very clearly right, but it was not at your house, it was when she came to TTKC with you to make Png Kueh. She will come to me and she said "你知道吗？她牵我的手！ (Do you know? She hold my hand!)"
Ya Xuan: (mimicks) “She hold my hand!” (laughs) Eh that is not for the first time lor. Walau, so dramatic.
Shiyun: Maybe... that’s the only time she remembers? How did you think that your Ah Ma express love?
Ya Xuan: Hitting! When she laughs, she also (mimicks hitting) “Pah! Pah!”
Shiyun: Maybe, that’s why you also express love like that.
Ya Xuan: Yes.
Shiyun: By hitting people ah?
Ya Xuan: Yes.
Shiyun: (laughs) Okay, maybe for the listeners right… tell us a story about your Ah Ma.
Ya Xuan: She’s from… where again? Fu Zhou. She used to sell all these kueh, below (the) block, and then when she saw her mother-in-law making this Png Kueh, she was like “Oh, I wanna learn!”
(mimicks mother-in-law) “Nooo, cannot cannot. Only can see.” So she (Ah Ma) wasn’t allowed to touch anything, so basically she just go back to her own house and try to make it herself. Now, growing up, (when I am) telling her “eh I want make also!”, (Ah ma will reply) “You stand there see, I tell you!”
Shiyun: So she will not let you (make), she will not teach you, but then you have to......
Ya Xuan: (mimicks Ah Ma) “You see ah! I teaching you now, you see you see.”
Shiyun: Maybe last time, the old people are all like that lah.
Ya Xuan: Yeah.
Shiyun: They teach, by not teaching… you must only see.
Ya Xuan: Yea… that’s why I can’t teach (laughs).
Shiyun: That’s why you can’t teach? So you always tell people “Just see ah!”
Ya Xuan: Yes. (both laughs)
Shiyun: Then your Ah Gong leh?
Ya Xuan: I don’t know him ah.
Shiyun: You don’t know him much ah? So you don’t really talk to him.
Ya Xuan: Ya.
Shiyun: So the person that you talk to everyday is Ah Ma?
Ya Xuan: Yes.
Shiyun: Because she has a lot to say?
Ya Xuan: My Ah Ma and my Ye Ye, they only talk about 4D (laughs), and my uncle aunty coming. Most of them, they will be like “Eh Xuan ah, go give your Ah Gong this, go tell your Ah Gong this.”.
Shiyun: So you are the balancer between your Ah Ma and your Ye Ye?
Ya Xuan: Yah lah.
Shiyun: They don’t talk to each other, they talk through you.
Ya Xuan: Ya lah, macam more like “eh send message” liddat.
Shiyun: Let’s say, there are three things that immediately come to your mind, when you think about Ah Ma. What are these three things?
Ya Xuan: (laughs) There will only be one, shouting lor.
Shiyun: Two more.
Ya Xuan: Maybe her Png Kueh? Actually I don’t know leh… there’s nothing else what. Most of the time she only watch TV mah, and talk to my uncle.
Shiyun: But she calls you everyday, and waits for you everyday.
Ya Xuan: Yes, yes, yes, yes, sometime she calls just to say “Oh you eat already then you come home hor, I never cook.” (laughs)
Shiyun: And you talk to her in Teochew.
Ya Xuan: When she talk to me in Teochew, I reply to her in Teochew lor.
Shiyun: When did you learn to speak Teochew?
Ya Xuan: I don’t know, maybe because everytime she downstairs, talk to her friends, all use Teochew, talk to my grandfather, talk to my uncle aunty, all use Teochew.
Shiyun: Do you watch Teochew shows?
Ya Xuan: No
Shiyun: So most of your Teochew actually is from her lah, like talking to her friends.
Ya Xuan: Yes, I think so, most of my cousins don’t know any. It’s like I’m the only grandchild, out of all her grandchildren, who knows how to speak Teochew like everything.
Shiyun: So maybe, you actually observed her a lot lah.
Ya Xuan: Yeah (laughs) got 24 hour CCTV over there one.
Shiyun: What you mean 24 hour CCTV over there?
Ya Xuan: Both of us looking at each other “Eh what you doing?” “Eh what you doing?” (laughs)
Shiyun: Why is Png Kueh so special to you?
Ya Xuan: She always make what, then she will give all her friends, give neighbours all those.
Shiyun: Maybe that is a thing that makes her proud, or that’s what people recognise her for.
Ya Xuan: Yeah actually kinda true. Every time people see her, “Eh today you never make kueh ah? Eh why never give me?” (laughs) Like sometimes, you know all her friends jealous one. “How come that day you give her you never give me?” (laughs)
Shiyun: Yah lor, so her Png Kueh is like her sense of pride, like she can also get friends by making a lot of Png Kueh. (laughs)
Ya Xuan: Yes. (both laughs)
This project was completed in 2022. Photography mentored by Larry Toh.
